Especially when I totally frustrated. Days like this come several times a month, and ever since I finished college, my frustration doubled compared from years before, one of the major reasons is my age.
Not to boast, but I do get a lot of people telling me that I look younger than my age, around 2-3 years younger. I appreciate it a lot, since I don’t want to look my age at all hahaha, but it really is frustrating and heavy on the inside.
Because I feel like I haven’t enjoyed my teen years that much, it went by so fast. I had a lot of dreams back then and thinking about it now, I haven’t really fulfilled most of it yet. It’s not that grand or anything, just small things like having a lot of time to sew, craft, cosplay, audition for lots of shizniz, and a bunch of silly teenager stuff. I wanted to prove something back then
but my “forgiving” and “kind” nature took over and gave in back then, because I thought I could change my guy then who restrained me ;ls;. But meh, I wasted A LOT of precious time. 2 years of nothingness. Airhead.
I’m not that old, I’m 22. Turning 23 in a couple of months. It’s not too late I know, but other factors like work, and some other responsibilities, keep holding me back a bit. The idea of marriage, and having a child, is also almost there. Yes, I want to get married to my boyfriend of almost 4 years, but after that he wants a child already, and I don’t. Not yet. Not in 2 years. I’m not even good with kids yet, they annoy me and they scare me ;A; (sige ako na masama haha!)
And it’s all because of my never ending frustration of doing something for myself. I’m working on it now, but then I lack inspiration. With no one supporting, all I have is myself for these things to happen. Some of them cannot be achieved anymore because of my age, despite of how I look.
Reasons, I have a lot of them.But past is past anyway, all that matters right now is what I should do. I just need to be more decisive. All is well in my life right now and I have nothing to worry about.
And like today, I have accomplished lots of things. I woke up early (9 am = EARLY. I usually wake up at 1 pm). I went to my sister’s school to deliver something. It was my first time to cook Chicken Curry and it turned out well. I’ve cleaned my room again. I washed 1 week worth of clothes. I cleaned, oiled, and practiced with my sewing machine again. I made an additional cabinet design for my room. I segregated the coins from my piggy bank to be deposited/exchanged to bills soon. ALL OF THAT TODAY. So fulfilling. ; u ;